Little Reminders

I was talking with a dear friend this week about an incident recently which flooded back memories of Samantha's death. I had such a hard time shaking it that day. She was patient with me, as I asked 'Should I stop talking about her yet? It has been just over a year now...' In her own kind way, she told me that this is what friends are for. Generally, it's so awkward for people to know what to say so usually nothing is said. I understand that. I'm thankful for the friends who ask, every once in a while, questions about her. I also am so thankful for the people I have found through this who have also lost a child and are living life. To think that I don't have to drive many hours to share with you over a cup of tea! Lastly, I'm thankful for the little gifts that were given that are sprinkled around my home that when I just want to think about her I can:

My emerald ring from my husband (her birthstone),

my shadowbox with her things in it

and

my drawing of her bonnet.

When I walk outside:

her memorial garden,

the pink Dogwood tree

and

the beautiful windchimes from our family.

Welcome Madeline!

One of my dearest friend's anticipated arrival is finally in her arms to stay! I finally got to meet Maddie, a newly adopted baby girl. She's from Guatemala and such a cutie. It will be so fun to watch her life unfold!

Drawing

One of my favorite things to do is to draw. I love to draw things from nature. This is one of my favorites from a berry series in pencil.

May all Fear God

I learned today...

2 fears of the Scriptures:

1. fear- terrified/ move away from
2. fear- awe, drawn to

Unbelievers/ NonChristians fear (are terrified of) the Lord. When we become believers/ Christians, that old 'fear' (terrified) becomes a new fear (awe, drawn to) and is glorifying to God and good for us.

Exodus
20:18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die."

Leviticus
19:14 "'Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the Lord.
25:17 Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God. I am the Lord your God.

Deuteronomy
5:29 Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!

1 Chronicles
16:25-26 For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the nations are idols, but the Lord made the heavens.

Revelation
19:5 Then a voice came from the throne, saying: "Praise our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, both small and great!"

I'd like to do a word study and see what other verses say about fear.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace ! How sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me !

I once was lost,but now am found.

Was blind but now I see.

In evil long I took delight,

Unawed by shame or fear;

Till a new object met my sight,

And stopped my wild career.

I saw one hanging on a tree,

In agonies and blood;

Who fixed his languid eyes on me,

As near his cross I stood.

Sure, ne’er until my latest breath,

Can I forget that look;

It seemed to change me with his death,

Though not a word He spoke.

My conscience felt and owned the guilt,

And plunged me in despair;

I saw my sins HIS BLOOD HAD SHED,

And helped to nail Him there.

Alas, I knew not what I did,

But all my tears were vain;

Where could my trembling soul be hid,

For I the LORD had slain.

A second look He gave that said;

“I freely all forgive” !

This blood is for my ramson paid,

“I died that thou mayest live.”

Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,

And Grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that Grace appear,

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers,toils and snairs,

I have already come;

Tis Grace hath bro’t me safe thus far,

And Grace will lead me home.

The LORD has promised good to me,

His word my hope secures;

His will my sheild and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yes ! when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess within the vail,

A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But GOD who called me here below,

Shall be forever mine.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun;

We’ve no less days to sing GOD’S praise,

Than when we first begun !

John Newton 1725-1807, full 13 verses

Field Trip

This week we went to a farm through our co-op. The kid's learned more about the farm animals, went on a hayride and picked a pumpkin from the field. It was a wonderful fall outing.

Later that evening the mom's had a 'mom's night out' at one of the homes. It was a beautiful evening to be enjoying the country air and such good company by bonfire and candlelight.

Growth

Judah is at that adorable stage. He is 4 months, approaching 5. Judah has been such a blessing to us all. He is the sweetest natured little guy. He melts the hearts of us all as he gives that toothless grin then snuggles in the crook of your neck. Sophie, Micah and Josh love to hold him all the time and look forward to his awake time. Overall, their fears of death are getting better each day. My little Micah still struggles with fear of him dying the most. Sometimes, at just a random happy moment, his little eyes will fill with tears and he'll whisper to me, "Mom, I don't want Judah to die...". I try to comfort him, encourage him and use that moment to be a teachable one. Sometimes I'm not so strong myself, though.

Watching Judah grow makes me so thankful for each new growing stage. It's impossible not to look back and think of Samantha who was about this age when she died. Developmentally, however, she remained at the infant stage. I love the infant stage very much. I'm thankful for the privilege of taking care of Samantha, who was the mother's dream and stayed at that cuddly infant stage. Yet at the same time, growth is so very much more appreciated. Now, the first smile, giggle, rolling over and reaching out is even more a priceless treasure that is not taken for granted. I'm thankful that God has made me more aware of this great gift of growth.

Be Still

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

To guide the future, as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord.

When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past

All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise

On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;

Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,

So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.

Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine

Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Catharina von Schlegel 1752

The Bag of all Bags

I just purchased my second LLBean tote. The first one didn't break, I just used it so much I decided to get a second one. I highly recommend it to especially mothers. It is our library bag, day trip bag, overnight to gramma's bag and co-op bag. It is so sturdy and made so well. I think I could be easily swayed to have a couple more!

Grape Day

I just bought a flat of grapes

from my local produce co-op.

My newly discovered snack

(thank you, Holly):

frozen grapes!

Where have they been all my life?

I just wash and lay them on a cookie sheet.

Freeze them for an hour or so.

Then put them in a freezer ziplock bag and Voila!

A healthy, refreshing snack.

(My kid's love them and for me... it's a great substitute for icecream when

I'm 'watching my figure'!)