Today would have been Samantha's 4th birthday. Unbelievable! I finally figured a way to get a clip from our home movies of her smiling for the first time. This was taken 2 weeks before she died (9-18-07). She was 4 months old. We weren't sure if she would smile at all (honestly, we weren't sure if she could see or hear much). This series of smiles (they lasted about 3 days) was one of the most precious gifts she gave me.
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Catching Up
I am now in the catch-up mode. Being sick for so long from the pregnancy, and then going to the hospital early, has set me back with the house and school. The D&C and recovery went well.
Thank you to all my dear friends and family for your help and encouragement. We are so blessed by you. I know there were concerns- wondering if this was particularily difficult because of Samantha. I really have had peace about it. It's certainly not a fun experience. However, I have been able to trust in God's providence in this (and can't help but think if it's the baby's time to die-this seems to be a much more peaceful way to go then to have a baby go through death outside of the womb like Samantha had to go through). This past weekend I received in the mail the little hand and footprints. The nurse explained to me that they don't mention the prints because it's sometimes not possible. Sometimes people choose not to see them too. But I told her to send them to me! I won't post the picture, but they are perfect. At 14 weeks, they measured about the size of my pinky fingernail.
The kids are doing fine. We've tried to model, as all parents try to do in trials, to keep on going- enjoying life as it's given to us. They've been doing well with keeping up with school, as much as they could, these last four month. But now that I'm feeling fine again, we're back to the books more agressively! So, I guess they would say that part wasn't fine.
I'll show pictures of the last 4 months in the next post.
Thank you to all my dear friends and family for your help and encouragement. We are so blessed by you. I know there were concerns- wondering if this was particularily difficult because of Samantha. I really have had peace about it. It's certainly not a fun experience. However, I have been able to trust in God's providence in this (and can't help but think if it's the baby's time to die-this seems to be a much more peaceful way to go then to have a baby go through death outside of the womb like Samantha had to go through). This past weekend I received in the mail the little hand and footprints. The nurse explained to me that they don't mention the prints because it's sometimes not possible. Sometimes people choose not to see them too. But I told her to send them to me! I won't post the picture, but they are perfect. At 14 weeks, they measured about the size of my pinky fingernail.
The kids are doing fine. We've tried to model, as all parents try to do in trials, to keep on going- enjoying life as it's given to us. They've been doing well with keeping up with school, as much as they could, these last four month. But now that I'm feeling fine again, we're back to the books more agressively! So, I guess they would say that part wasn't fine.
I'll show pictures of the last 4 months in the next post.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Looking Heavenward Once Again
On Friday, I went for my 15 week dr appointment to find there was no heartbeat. It was a rough day. The worst was telling the kids. They've been worried from the beginning, so it was very hard to tell them the news. I go in this Thursday morning to the hospital.
I have seen God's grace working so wonderfully in our lives through this time-showing His steadfast faithfulness. He's provided me with a husband who is an anchor- reminding me of God's promises. He's provided friends that seek us out to help (when my first reaction is to hide). He's provided 4 children who give me plenty of reasons to still smile and go on with living.
If you can think of it, please pray especially for Sophia, my 10 year old. She's really struggling.
A friend emailed me this verse this morning and I'm thankful for these comforting words:
Psalm 63: 6-8 "When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shoadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me."
I have seen God's grace working so wonderfully in our lives through this time-showing His steadfast faithfulness. He's provided me with a husband who is an anchor- reminding me of God's promises. He's provided friends that seek us out to help (when my first reaction is to hide). He's provided 4 children who give me plenty of reasons to still smile and go on with living.
If you can think of it, please pray especially for Sophia, my 10 year old. She's really struggling.
A friend emailed me this verse this morning and I'm thankful for these comforting words:
Psalm 63: 6-8 "When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shoadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me."
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Birthday, Samantha!
Today, on Mother's Day, is Samantha's Birthday. She would have been 3 years old today.
A sweet friend called me a couple of days prior, to see if it was o.k. to bake a pink cake in honor of her. She gently reminded me to not ignore her birthday, but allow it to be the time to remind the kids the happy memories.
She knew. I was holding my breath, waiting for it to pass, so as not to let it hurt so much. All the time thinking, 'next year' will be easier. It never is. So my tears came that day, but not on Sunday. I wanted the kids to see me joyfully celebrating her memory and being their mother.
What another great Mother's Day.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Goodbye
1 Corinthians 15:50-58
50Now this I say, brethen, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed--52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory?" 56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethern, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Spring Break
During our Spring Break, the kids and I decided to head North to my parents home in Michigan. It's the first time I've taken 4 kids by myself on the 18 hr. car ride. I was a little nervous during the hotel stay half way, but am thankful to report it went just fine. It helped that Josh can swim now so the pool time was a blast.
We had so much fun. There were 'road trips' to Millersburg and Gaylord for pizza and ice cream.
Mema and Sophie decided to take on a sewing project together. Since sewing isn't my forte', I'm thankful that both grandmas are talented in that department! Sophie loves to sew.
This was one of the few times in March where there was no snow. So, it was chilly, but we were able to take our bikes to the beach (and see the ice floating in the water).
My hometown feels like something from the Mitford Series. Friends randomly knocking to say 'hello', just in time for tea.
The kids also experienced a bit of 'Little House on the Prairie'. Our good friends, the Tollys, make their own maple syrup and this happened to be the week they were making it. We were thrilled to see the process and make it a home schooling experience.
One of the main reasons I wanted to come 'home' was to visit my close friends, the Dugans. Mrs. Dugan's health has failed rapidly. They have always been like a second set of parents to me. They have been involved in my life since I was in Jr. High. They've been so instrumental in my Christian faith. They've watched me go through the growing up struggles and have put several boyfriends on the 'hot seat'. I fondly remember stopping by their house many times and having good talks with them in their living room. Being a Hillsdale graduate and advocate, they were the reason I chose to go to Hillsdale College. They met and 'approved' Jonathan when we dated and were engaged in college. And just like Mrs. and Mr. Dugan, we were married during college at a fairly young age. At our wedding, Mr. Dugan wore a tux because he was the 'other father'. When we were newlyweds and broke, Mr. and Mrs. D would drive down for a visit and take us out to dinner and we felt like royalty. Their generosity and example have shaped our lives. As time marched on and our family grew, their love was constant. Mrs. Dugan was one of the few people who held Samantha. This photo was taken a month before Samantha died.
Mrs. Dugan's illness has been hard on all of us. The week was filled with joy but was also filled with many, many tears. Mrs. Dugan is in the nursing home now and appears to be at the final stage of the disease. Mr. Dugan's constant, tender love towards her continued to be an amazing testimony through 'the end', literally, when Mrs. Dugan was clearly not there anymore (in spirit). I'm so thankful to have this memory to share again and again with my children an example of a successful marriage where Christ is the center. Mr. Dugan is as tired and weary as a normal person would be, but he is a living example of how to 'praise Him still'.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Looking Heavenward
Today is Samantha's birthday. I stayed busy today, purposefully, trying to ignore that lingering lump in the throat. She would have been 2 years old today. The ache of the mother's heart doesn't go away. When I miss her the most, I think how wonderful it is that I know where she is. I didn't 'lose' a baby. She is with the merciful Saviour.
I once scorned ev'ry fearful thought of death,
When it was but the end of pulse and breath,
But now my eyes have seen that past the pain
There is a world that's waiting to be claimed.
Earthmaker, Holy, let me now depart,
For living's such a temporary art.
And dying is but getting dressed for God,
Our graves are merely doorways cut in sod.
Calvin Miller, The Divine Symphony (Minneapolis: Bethany, 2000),
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Good Questions
Joshies, who is now 4 1/2, brought me Samantha's photo album along with many questions. It has been 18 months since Samantha died. But, for a 4 year old it, it seems like a decade. At 3, Josh didn't understand what was really going on. The first long car trip we took after she died, Josh asked if we were going to pick up Samantha. Now, as a 4 year old, he had questions:
How did she die?
Where was she when she died?
Did it hurt?
What was heaven like?
He looked at her pictures and said 'it's too far away...I don't remember what she looks like'. Then with tears pooling in his eyes he asked,
'But Mom, who's holding her in heaven?'
At that point I couldn't hold back the tears either.
How did she die?
Where was she when she died?
Did it hurt?
What was heaven like?
He looked at her pictures and said 'it's too far away...I don't remember what she looks like'. Then with tears pooling in his eyes he asked,
'But Mom, who's holding her in heaven?'
At that point I couldn't hold back the tears either.
But Jesus called for the children, saying, “Let the little children come to me and do not try to stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. "
Luke 18:16
Friday, October 10, 2008
Growth
Judah is at that adorable stage. He is 4 months, approaching 5. Judah has been such a blessing to us all. He is the sweetest natured little guy. He melts the hearts of us all as he gives that toothless grin then snuggles in the crook of your neck. Sophie, Micah and Josh love to hold him all the time and look forward to his awake time. Overall, their fears of death are getting better each day. My little Micah still struggles with fear of him dying the most. Sometimes, at just a random happy moment, his little eyes will fill with tears and he'll whisper to me, "Mom, I don't want Judah to die...". I try to comfort him, encourage him and use that moment to be a teachable one. Sometimes I'm not so strong myself, though.
Watching Judah grow makes me so thankful for each new growing stage. It's impossible not to look back and think of Samantha who was about this age when she died. Developmentally, however, she remained at the infant stage. I love the infant stage very much. I'm thankful for the privilege of taking care of Samantha, who was the mother's dream and stayed at that cuddly infant stage. Yet at the same time, growth is so very much more appreciated. Now, the first smile, giggle, rolling over and reaching out is even more a priceless treasure that is not taken for granted. I'm thankful that God has made me more aware of this great gift of growth.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Remembering her
Celebrating Samantha's one year in heaven today. Here, however, life is not the same without her.
We miss you, Samantha...
Looking back and relying on those Scriptures friends have encouraged me with to get through this day
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. Isaiah 57: 1,2
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope, through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, for His compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion', says my soul, 'therefore I hope in Him'. Lamentations 3:21-24
We miss you, Samantha...
Looking back and relying on those Scriptures friends have encouraged me with to get through this day
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. Isaiah 57: 1,2
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope, through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, for His compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion', says my soul, 'therefore I hope in Him'. Lamentations 3:21-24
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Samantha's Garden
As gifts, many people gave perennial flowers for a memorial garden for Samantha. Our parents helped us plant them in September and in May, Samantha's birthday month, it was so beautiful to see the plants from all our family and friends in bloom.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Putting one foot in front of the other
While Samantha was living we had planned to wait at least a year to think about any more children because I get so sick with my pregnancies. I wanted to fully be able to care for her and knew that wouldn't be possible if I was pregnant again. God has His own plans for us. To our surprise, one week after Samantha's death, we found out I was pregnant! In His perfect timing I didn't start getting sick until 2 weeks after she passed away.
It was a difficult winter. I was battling fear of the new pregnancy and was flooded with grief. I was afraid her memory would go too quickly and I was not ready for time to move forward. It was during this time that was just as difficult if not more so then the previous months. During the time we had with Samantha, I was on survival mode- all the way through the funeral and shortly after. After life starts to resume it's course, the grief seemed to try to plow me over. Also by this time the calls and letters started to become more infrequent, so I was left to my own thoughts. Our pastor recently gave the hope and gospel from Ephesians 1 and encouraged everyone to plant these truths and promises in their hearts now, before there are trials. As Christians, we know that there will be suffering, it's not an if.
Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Prepare for the trials now. Read the Word, try to understand His Promises, plant them in your soul. I encourage all believers to arm themselves with the Truth and Gospel so that you can be ready for what life brings you. My heart breaks for everyone who goes through life's heartaches and terrible trials without Christ and hope. And for all that do not know or believe the gospel, I pray that you turn to Christ now. If you want to know more what that means go here. For more on suffering or struggling with contentedness listen to When You Don't Like Where You Are here.
It was a difficult winter. I was battling fear of the new pregnancy and was flooded with grief. I was afraid her memory would go too quickly and I was not ready for time to move forward. It was during this time that was just as difficult if not more so then the previous months. During the time we had with Samantha, I was on survival mode- all the way through the funeral and shortly after. After life starts to resume it's course, the grief seemed to try to plow me over. Also by this time the calls and letters started to become more infrequent, so I was left to my own thoughts. Our pastor recently gave the hope and gospel from Ephesians 1 and encouraged everyone to plant these truths and promises in their hearts now, before there are trials. As Christians, we know that there will be suffering, it's not an if.
Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Prepare for the trials now. Read the Word, try to understand His Promises, plant them in your soul. I encourage all believers to arm themselves with the Truth and Gospel so that you can be ready for what life brings you. My heart breaks for everyone who goes through life's heartaches and terrible trials without Christ and hope. And for all that do not know or believe the gospel, I pray that you turn to Christ now. If you want to know more what that means go here. For more on suffering or struggling with contentedness listen to When You Don't Like Where You Are here.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
There is Hope
2 Sam 12:16-23
And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and it became ill.16 David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, "Indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!" 19 When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" And they said, "He is dead." 20 So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, "What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food." 22 And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' 23 "But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."
1 Cor 15:3-4
3 For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures...
1 Cor 15:12-14
12 Now if Christ is preached that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ is not risen. 14 And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also
empty.
1 Cor 15:20-22
20 But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.
1 Cor 15:35-38
35But someone will say, "How are the dead raised up? And with what body do they come?" 36 Foolish one, what you sow is not made alive unless it dies. 37 And what you sow, you do not sow that body that shall be, but mere grain--perhaps wheat or some other grain. 38 But God gives it a body as He pleases, and to each seed its own body.
1 Cor 15:44-45
44 It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. 45 And so it is written, "The first man Adam became a living being." The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
1 Cor 15:50-58
50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-- 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." 55 "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?"56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and it became ill.16 David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, "Indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!" 19 When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" And they said, "He is dead." 20 So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, "What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food." 22 And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' 23 "But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."
1 Cor 15:3-4
3 For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures...
1 Cor 15:12-14
12 Now if Christ is preached that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ is not risen. 14 And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also
empty.
1 Cor 15:20-22
20 But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.
1 Cor 15:35-38
35But someone will say, "How are the dead raised up? And with what body do they come?" 36 Foolish one, what you sow is not made alive unless it dies. 37 And what you sow, you do not sow that body that shall be, but mere grain--perhaps wheat or some other grain. 38 But God gives it a body as He pleases, and to each seed its own body.
1 Cor 15:44-45
44 It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. 45 And so it is written, "The first man Adam became a living being." The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
1 Cor 15:50-58
50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-- 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." 55 "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?"56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Samantha Testimony
Presented by husband and Laura at Cornerstone Baptist Church
(And to you--all our family and friends)
June 17th, 2007
Introduction
Most of you know that our family is in the midst of a trial. Our daughter Samantha is dying from large hole in her heart caused from a condition known as Trisomy 18. Some days she appears very weak, and other days fairly strong, but the medical tests indicate she will live perhaps a few more months. Although I am certain that many of you have experienced and continue to experience trials as dark or even darker, I think it is worthwhile to speak publicly about the nature of our trial and the response of Grace from the Lord's hand. I am certain that the Lord encourages His church through testimonies of His Grace – however great or small the testing.
Ps 107:31-32 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! 32 Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people, and praise Him in the company of the elders. NKJV
Contentedness in God's providence.
We love raising children and we were so excited for this fourth little one to be added to our family. Though the news is over a month old to us we still shed tears at the thought of losing someone so precious to us. At the same time we know full well that the Lord gave Samantha life in His perfect will. We know that God made no mistakes when He knit her together in my womb.
Ps 139:14-16 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.
Likewise Job 14:5 states, "Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed"
We know that the Lord has measured out the number of her days no less accurately than for any of us. Yet we find it a difficult path to submit our hearts to these doctrines. It is hard to trust in the Lord's leading when your affections resist the path He has chosen.
In answer to this struggle we have been thinking about the context of Paul's confession in Phil 4:10-13.
But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
When Paul says he can do 'all things,' what are the 'things' he has in mind? The 'thing' he is able to do through Christ is be content in feast and in famine. Paul is saying here that whatever providences God puts before him, whatever the hardships, whatever the trials, ( v.11) "in whatever state I am… to be content." As I think of it, this is a humbling statement to hear from a man who has endured beatings, stoning, shipwreck, desertion, and all matter of abuse. I believe this also to be the spirit of Job when (after losing all of his sons and daughters) when he says "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?"
Laura and I can testify that it is humanly impossible to hold the doctrines of God's sovereignty in one arm and hold a dying child in the other. Christ, however, makes it possible for us. The peace and contentment we share through this trial is something we can only possess through Christ who strengthens us. It is hard to be content; it is hard to be satisfied; it is hard to conceive that the Lord can work in this trial for good. But whatever our lot, Christ is teaching us to say "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.
As a mother it is so easy to get caught up in a multitude of worries: what is she is suffering, should I shield the other children in any way. I need to continually bring these worries to the Lord in prayer. There are overwhelming days in which I find it a struggle to get out bed. I discover on those days that His Word is faithful and "His mercies are new every morning". It is only in Him I can find any joy. Left to myself I wouldn't be able to get through this heartache, but because I am His child He invites us to take to Him our sorrows, pain, discontentment and even unbelief.
Emoting with others - a praise of local church body
I think something of the heart of God is demonstrated when we see Jesus at the foot of Lazarus' tomb. Everyone knows the verse, "Jesus wept." But consider! Jesus knows full well that "to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord." (2Cor 5:8) Why would he weep? He knows full well that, in a few hours, Lazarus would be eating and drinking in the presence of his family. I believe that Jesus demonstrates here a tender-hearted affection for the family of Lazarus so deep that genuine tears of sympathy stream down his face with unguarded selflessness. I am sure this is what Paul has in mind when he exhorts us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Rom 12:15-16
You have done exactly this. We have been deeply touched by the kindness you have demonstrated. Gentle understanding words, silent prayers, plates of food, visits, phone calls, kind emails, and your many prayers encourage and sustain us. Many of you have had an arm around us and shed tears with us – and we have sensed such Christ-like love in this. Surely goodness and mercy have followed us – and the Lord has delivered them by your hand. You have been the instruments of God's grace and tender affection towards us.
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
You have been that grace to us. You who have spoken words of encouragement, cut our grass, brought us food, prayed for us – you have been the strength, mercy and peace God has multiplied unto us.
Hope for SalvationMy husband and I have struggled with many questions regarding Samantha and what the Bible says about the salvation of her soul. We want to share why we are able to rest confidently in the good news of the gospel – resting with hearts full of hope that we will see Samantha in glory. Our hope is based not on wishful thinking or man-made doctrines but on the nature of Salvation offered to us through Christ.
Consider Eph 2:3-10.
…we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in sins, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast.
Some religions require a life of good works, penance, abstention, and all other matter of obligation. Of the salvation Jesus offers freely Spurgeon writes:
Let us never for a moment think that our [accepted] standing [before God] is in our sanctification, our mortification, our graces, or our feelings, but know that because Christ offered a full atonement, therefore we are saved; for we are complete in Him. Having nothing of our own to trust to, but resting upon the merits of Jesus—His passion [death] and holy life furnish us with the only sure ground of confidence.
Samantha has no good works to her merit. But God does not receive us on that account. If she stands on that last day justified it will be because she stands on the merits of Jesus Christ. This is the good news.
If you feel that your faith is too weak or the pile of your good works is too small to win acceptance with God, you have missed the gospel message. Christ offers full forgiveness, full atonement, and adoption into the family of the King of Kings. Do not wait for your faith to become strong. That day will never come. Do not wait until you have conquered your sins. Come to Christ bringing nothing and expecting eternal life with the Creator of the universe.
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.
Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.
While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.
There is a single passage of scripture that summarizes perfectly all that Laura and I have tried to communicate today.
1 Cor 15:55-58 "O Death, where is your sting ? O Hell, where is your victory?" 56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
Presented by husband and Laura at Cornerstone Baptist Church
(And to you--all our family and friends)
June 17th, 2007
Introduction
Most of you know that our family is in the midst of a trial. Our daughter Samantha is dying from large hole in her heart caused from a condition known as Trisomy 18. Some days she appears very weak, and other days fairly strong, but the medical tests indicate she will live perhaps a few more months. Although I am certain that many of you have experienced and continue to experience trials as dark or even darker, I think it is worthwhile to speak publicly about the nature of our trial and the response of Grace from the Lord's hand. I am certain that the Lord encourages His church through testimonies of His Grace – however great or small the testing.
Ps 107:31-32 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! 32 Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people, and praise Him in the company of the elders. NKJV
Contentedness in God's providence.
We love raising children and we were so excited for this fourth little one to be added to our family. Though the news is over a month old to us we still shed tears at the thought of losing someone so precious to us. At the same time we know full well that the Lord gave Samantha life in His perfect will. We know that God made no mistakes when He knit her together in my womb.
Ps 139:14-16 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.
Likewise Job 14:5 states, "Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed"
We know that the Lord has measured out the number of her days no less accurately than for any of us. Yet we find it a difficult path to submit our hearts to these doctrines. It is hard to trust in the Lord's leading when your affections resist the path He has chosen.
In answer to this struggle we have been thinking about the context of Paul's confession in Phil 4:10-13.
But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
When Paul says he can do 'all things,' what are the 'things' he has in mind? The 'thing' he is able to do through Christ is be content in feast and in famine. Paul is saying here that whatever providences God puts before him, whatever the hardships, whatever the trials, ( v.11) "in whatever state I am… to be content." As I think of it, this is a humbling statement to hear from a man who has endured beatings, stoning, shipwreck, desertion, and all matter of abuse. I believe this also to be the spirit of Job when (after losing all of his sons and daughters) when he says "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?"
Laura and I can testify that it is humanly impossible to hold the doctrines of God's sovereignty in one arm and hold a dying child in the other. Christ, however, makes it possible for us. The peace and contentment we share through this trial is something we can only possess through Christ who strengthens us. It is hard to be content; it is hard to be satisfied; it is hard to conceive that the Lord can work in this trial for good. But whatever our lot, Christ is teaching us to say "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.
As a mother it is so easy to get caught up in a multitude of worries: what is she is suffering, should I shield the other children in any way. I need to continually bring these worries to the Lord in prayer. There are overwhelming days in which I find it a struggle to get out bed. I discover on those days that His Word is faithful and "His mercies are new every morning". It is only in Him I can find any joy. Left to myself I wouldn't be able to get through this heartache, but because I am His child He invites us to take to Him our sorrows, pain, discontentment and even unbelief.
Emoting with others - a praise of local church body
I think something of the heart of God is demonstrated when we see Jesus at the foot of Lazarus' tomb. Everyone knows the verse, "Jesus wept." But consider! Jesus knows full well that "to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord." (2Cor 5:8) Why would he weep? He knows full well that, in a few hours, Lazarus would be eating and drinking in the presence of his family. I believe that Jesus demonstrates here a tender-hearted affection for the family of Lazarus so deep that genuine tears of sympathy stream down his face with unguarded selflessness. I am sure this is what Paul has in mind when he exhorts us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Rom 12:15-16
You have done exactly this. We have been deeply touched by the kindness you have demonstrated. Gentle understanding words, silent prayers, plates of food, visits, phone calls, kind emails, and your many prayers encourage and sustain us. Many of you have had an arm around us and shed tears with us – and we have sensed such Christ-like love in this. Surely goodness and mercy have followed us – and the Lord has delivered them by your hand. You have been the instruments of God's grace and tender affection towards us.
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
You have been that grace to us. You who have spoken words of encouragement, cut our grass, brought us food, prayed for us – you have been the strength, mercy and peace God has multiplied unto us.
Hope for SalvationMy husband and I have struggled with many questions regarding Samantha and what the Bible says about the salvation of her soul. We want to share why we are able to rest confidently in the good news of the gospel – resting with hearts full of hope that we will see Samantha in glory. Our hope is based not on wishful thinking or man-made doctrines but on the nature of Salvation offered to us through Christ.
Consider Eph 2:3-10.
…we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in sins, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast.
Some religions require a life of good works, penance, abstention, and all other matter of obligation. Of the salvation Jesus offers freely Spurgeon writes:
Let us never for a moment think that our [accepted] standing [before God] is in our sanctification, our mortification, our graces, or our feelings, but know that because Christ offered a full atonement, therefore we are saved; for we are complete in Him. Having nothing of our own to trust to, but resting upon the merits of Jesus—His passion [death] and holy life furnish us with the only sure ground of confidence.
Samantha has no good works to her merit. But God does not receive us on that account. If she stands on that last day justified it will be because she stands on the merits of Jesus Christ. This is the good news.
If you feel that your faith is too weak or the pile of your good works is too small to win acceptance with God, you have missed the gospel message. Christ offers full forgiveness, full atonement, and adoption into the family of the King of Kings. Do not wait for your faith to become strong. That day will never come. Do not wait until you have conquered your sins. Come to Christ bringing nothing and expecting eternal life with the Creator of the universe.
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.
Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.
While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.
There is a single passage of scripture that summarizes perfectly all that Laura and I have tried to communicate today.
1 Cor 15:55-58 "O Death, where is your sting ? O Hell, where is your victory?" 56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
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