Happy Birthday, Samantha!

Today would have been Samantha's 4th birthday. Unbelievable! I finally figured a way to get a clip from our home movies of her smiling for the first time. This was taken 2 weeks before she died (9-18-07). She was 4 months old. We weren't sure if she would smile at all (honestly, we weren't sure if she could see or hear much). This series of smiles (they lasted about 3 days) was one of the most precious gifts she gave me.

Catching Up

I am now in the catch-up mode. Being sick for so long from the pregnancy, and then going to the hospital early, has set me back with the house and school. The D&C and recovery went well.



Thank you to all my dear friends and family for your help and encouragement. We are so blessed by you. I know there were concerns- wondering if this was particularily difficult because of Samantha. I really have had peace about it. It's certainly not a fun experience. However, I have been able to trust in God's providence in this (and can't help but think if it's the baby's time to die-this seems to be a much more peaceful way to go then to have a baby go through death outside of the womb like Samantha had to go through). This past weekend I received in the mail the little hand and footprints. The nurse explained to me that they don't mention the prints because it's sometimes not possible. Sometimes people choose not to see them too. But I told her to send them to me! I won't post the picture, but they are perfect. At 14 weeks, they measured about the size of my pinky fingernail.



The kids are doing fine. We've tried to model, as all parents try to do in trials, to keep on going- enjoying life as it's given to us. They've been doing well with keeping up with school, as much as they could, these last four month. But now that I'm feeling fine again, we're back to the books more agressively! So, I guess they would say that part wasn't fine.



I'll show pictures of the last 4 months in the next post.

Remembering

Thinking of our sweet baby girl today. Wondering what 3 years in heaven feels like. Remembering her smile.



Isaiah 40:18-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Happy Birthday, Samantha!

Today, on Mother's Day, is Samantha's Birthday. She would have been 3 years old today.

A sweet friend called me a couple of days prior, to see if it was o.k. to bake a pink cake in honor of her. She gently reminded me to not ignore her birthday, but allow it to be the time to remind the kids the happy memories.

She knew. I was holding my breath, waiting for it to pass, so as not to let it hurt so much. All the time thinking, 'next year' will be easier. It never is. So my tears came that day, but not on Sunday. I wanted the kids to see me joyfully celebrating her memory and being their mother.

What another great Mother's Day.

Spring Break

During our Spring Break, the kids and I decided to head North to my parents home in Michigan. It's the first time I've taken 4 kids by myself on the 18 hr. car ride. I was a little nervous during the hotel stay half way, but am thankful to report it went just fine. It helped that Josh can swim now so the pool time was a blast.

We had so much fun. There were 'road trips' to Millersburg and Gaylord for pizza and ice cream.

Mema and Sophie decided to take on a sewing project together. Since sewing isn't my forte', I'm thankful that both grandmas are talented in that department! Sophie loves to sew.

This was one of the few times in March where there was no snow. So, it was chilly, but we were able to take our bikes to the beach (and see the ice floating in the water).

My hometown feels like something from the Mitford Series. Friends randomly knocking to say 'hello', just in time for tea.

The kids also experienced a bit of 'Little House on the Prairie'. Our good friends, the Tollys, make their own maple syrup and this happened to be the week they were making it. We were thrilled to see the process and make it a home schooling experience.

One of the main reasons I wanted to come 'home' was to visit my close friends, the Dugans. Mrs. Dugan's health has failed rapidly. They have always been like a second set of parents to me. They have been involved in my life since I was in Jr. High. They've been so instrumental in my Christian faith. They've watched me go through the growing up struggles and have put several boyfriends on the 'hot seat'. I fondly remember stopping by their house many times and having good talks with them in their living room. Being a Hillsdale graduate and advocate, they were the reason I chose to go to Hillsdale College. They met and 'approved' Jonathan when we dated and were engaged in college. And just like Mrs. and Mr. Dugan, we were married during college at a fairly young age. At our wedding, Mr. Dugan wore a tux because he was the 'other father'. When we were newlyweds and broke, Mr. and Mrs. D would drive down for a visit and take us out to dinner and we felt like royalty. Their generosity and example have shaped our lives. As time marched on and our family grew, their love was constant. Mrs. Dugan was one of the few people who held Samantha. This photo was taken a month before Samantha died.

Mrs. Dugan's illness has been hard on all of us. The week was filled with joy but was also filled with many, many tears. Mrs. Dugan is in the nursing home now and appears to be at the final stage of the disease. Mr. Dugan's constant, tender love towards her continued to be an amazing testimony through 'the end', literally, when Mrs. Dugan was clearly not there anymore (in spirit). I'm so thankful to have this memory to share again and again with my children an example of a successful marriage where Christ is the center. Mr. Dugan is as tired and weary as a normal person would be, but he is a living example of how to 'praise Him still'.

Thankful for You

In the midst of the whirlwind, time stopped today for a while. Today marks the 2nd year that Samantha is in heaven. The kids and I went to the cemetary with some flowers. It is about a 20 minute drive, so there was time for good conversation. The kids wanted me to tell her story again. We recalled some memories and I tried to answer the many, many questions about why she died. Josh, who was 3 when she died, had the most questions. " I just wish she could come back so I can play with her", he said. The kids also had so many questions about heaven. I answered them as best I could (If God thinks it's important, He will definitely have teddy bears for her to play with in heaven, Josh). But most of all, I was encouraged at this opportunity to share with my kids the importance of life, living the best for the Lord, for our days are certainly numbered. It was a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel again and to beg for God's help and salvation for them.

Our conversations are not saturated about Samantha on a daily basis by all means. Even this day, I tried to talk about her with the kids only on the way to and back from the cemetary. It just seems so heavy for them to bear very long. As for me, however, as a mom, I'm thankful that this day particularly, I can think about her all day and watch the video again of her sweet little moment of smiles (maybe some day I can figure out a way to post this short clip).

Lastly, with time going on, I didn't expect people to actually remember this particular date, as I do. Personally, dates are not the sort of things I'm good at remembering. I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the sweet short emails , calls and even a rose bush hand delivered in memory of Samantha. I really couldn't ask for better friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Looking Heavenward

Today is Samantha's birthday. I stayed busy today, purposefully, trying to ignore that lingering lump in the throat. She would have been 2 years old today. The ache of the mother's heart doesn't go away. When I miss her the most, I think how wonderful it is that I know where she is. I didn't 'lose' a baby. She is with the merciful Saviour.

I once scorned ev'ry fearful thought of death,
When it was but the end of pulse and breath,
But now my eyes have seen that past the pain
There is a world that's waiting to be claimed.
Earthmaker, Holy, let me now depart,
For living's such a temporary art.
And dying is but getting dressed for God,
Our graves are merely doorways cut in sod.

Calvin Miller, The Divine Symphony (Minneapolis: Bethany, 2000),

Spring is Here

Oh I do love the seasons. Spring has to be a favorite of everyone. It is so fun to walk out to the garden and see the flowers come peeking out. The proportion is hard to see, but these are my miniature daffodils planted in Samantha's garden. How welcoming they are!

And to my delight, the rhubarb made it! A friend gave some of hers that she had split and I wasn't sure if it made it through the crazy winter we've had. Isn't it lovely? This talented lady could do something with the rhubarb leaves... I just love them. They would be fantastic to imprint. One of these years I'll try it.

Happy Spring.

Good Questions

Joshies, who is now 4 1/2, brought me Samantha's photo album along with many questions. It has been 18 months since Samantha died. But, for a 4 year old it, it seems like a decade. At 3, Josh didn't understand what was really going on. The first long car trip we took after she died, Josh asked if we were going to pick up Samantha. Now, as a 4 year old, he had questions:

How did she die?
Where was she when she died?
Did it hurt?
What was heaven like?

He looked at her pictures and said 'it's too far away...I don't remember what she looks like'. Then with tears pooling in his eyes he asked,

'But Mom, who's holding her in heaven?'

At that point I couldn't hold back the tears either.

But Jesus called for the children, saying, “Let the little children come to me and do not try to stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. "

Luke 18:16

Oh...my heart...Part 1

I've had that sick feeling for the last couple of days. The kind when the heart hurts. Yesterday I was reading an article that stated:

Since 1973 when the Supreme Court legalized abortion, we have killed more than the entire population of Canada.

That's staggering to me. Perhaps it hits even closer to home because I have children of my own and I even had a baby die by natural causes. When Samantha died, I've had people question why I didn't have an abortion knowing her fatal outcome as a Trisomy 18 baby. Aside from knowing it would have been wrong to kill her in my womb, I cannot fathom not having the sweet memories of her. We would have missed her sweet sounds and smiles and we would never gotten to know her.

I look forward to help with this in some way. To the mom who's already experienced abortion, there is sweet forgiveness. To the mom considering an abortion, I pray that you will seek help and that we Christians will flock to them.

To the Deeps

I would go to the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary.

Charles Spurgeon

Little Reminders

I was talking with a dear friend this week about an incident recently which flooded back memories of Samantha's death. I had such a hard time shaking it that day. She was patient with me, as I asked 'Should I stop talking about her yet? It has been just over a year now...' In her own kind way, she told me that this is what friends are for. Generally, it's so awkward for people to know what to say so usually nothing is said. I understand that. I'm thankful for the friends who ask, every once in a while, questions about her. I also am so thankful for the people I have found through this who have also lost a child and are living life. To think that I don't have to drive many hours to share with you over a cup of tea! Lastly, I'm thankful for the little gifts that were given that are sprinkled around my home that when I just want to think about her I can:

My emerald ring from my husband (her birthstone),

my shadowbox with her things in it

and

my drawing of her bonnet.

When I walk outside:

her memorial garden,

the pink Dogwood tree

and

the beautiful windchimes from our family.

Remembering her

Celebrating Samantha's one year in heaven today. Here, however, life is not the same without her.



We miss you, Samantha...





Looking back and relying on those Scriptures friends have encouraged me with to get through this day



The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. Isaiah 57: 1,2



The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18



This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope, through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, for His compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion', says my soul, 'therefore I hope in Him'. Lamentations 3:21-24

Samantha's Garden

As gifts, many people gave perennial flowers for a memorial garden for Samantha. Our parents helped us plant them in September and in May, Samantha's birthday month, it was so beautiful to see the plants from all our family and friends in bloom.

Putting one foot in front of the other

While Samantha was living we had planned to wait at least a year to think about any more children because I get so sick with my pregnancies. I wanted to fully be able to care for her and knew that wouldn't be possible if I was pregnant again. God has His own plans for us. To our surprise, one week after Samantha's death, we found out I was pregnant! In His perfect timing I didn't start getting sick until 2 weeks after she passed away.

It was a difficult winter. I was battling fear of the new pregnancy and was flooded with grief. I was afraid her memory would go too quickly and I was not ready for time to move forward. It was during this time that was just as difficult if not more so then the previous months. During the time we had with Samantha, I was on survival mode- all the way through the funeral and shortly after. After life starts to resume it's course, the grief seemed to try to plow me over. Also by this time the calls and letters started to become more infrequent, so I was left to my own thoughts. Our pastor recently gave the hope and gospel from Ephesians 1 and encouraged everyone to plant these truths and promises in their hearts now, before there are trials. As Christians, we know that there will be suffering, it's not an if.

Romans 5:1-5

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Prepare for the trials now. Read the Word, try to understand His Promises, plant them in your soul. I encourage all believers to arm themselves with the Truth and Gospel so that you can be ready for what life brings you. My heart breaks for everyone who goes through life's heartaches and terrible trials without Christ and hope. And for all that do not know or believe the gospel, I pray that you turn to Christ now. If you want to know more what that means go here. For more on suffering or struggling with contentedness listen to When You Don't Like Where You Are here.

There is Hope

2 Sam 12:16-23
And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and it became ill.16 David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, "Indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!" 19 When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" And they said, "He is dead." 20 So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, "What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food." 22 And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' 23 "But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

1 Cor 15:3-4
3 For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures...

1 Cor 15:12-14
12 Now if Christ is preached that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ is not risen. 14 And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also
empty.

1 Cor 15:20-22
20 But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.

1 Cor 15:35-38
35But someone will say, "How are the dead raised up? And with what body do they come?" 36 Foolish one, what you sow is not made alive unless it dies. 37 And what you sow, you do not sow that body that shall be, but mere grain--perhaps wheat or some other grain. 38 But God gives it a body as He pleases, and to each seed its own body.

1 Cor 15:44-45
44 It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. 45 And so it is written, "The first man Adam became a living being." The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.

1 Cor 15:50-58
50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-- 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." 55 "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?"56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Samantha's Memorial Service

Saturday September 22, 2007

Samantha's Passing

This was the email we sent to our family and friends on September 18, 2007

So many people have expressed to us such kindness and concern for our daughter Samantha. Laura and I are weary and emotionally exhausted but wanted some of our own comments to attend the spreading news of Samantha's passing. I sit here at the computer looking into the living room in which I wrestle daily with the boys, where we celebrate birthdays and Christmas, and where we listen to music. Today Laura and I sat on the living room couch and wept over Samantha as she struggled for her last few breaths. As we held her and tried to soothe her pains, we talked of all of the blessings we have enjoyed on her behalf. Even though Samantha could not speak or return an embrace, so much goodness entered our lives on her account. Our marriage has increased in maturity, our family enjoys more closeness, our children receive more tender affection, close friends have become increasingly dear. Though our hearts are broken (and our house is a wreck) there is a much larger sense in which we are unspeakably thankful. In no way do we wish Samantha had not come to our home. In no way do we wish some other family endured this struggle instead of us. This tiny life, though short and fraught with discomfort, has ushered into our home an ocean of kindness and compassion through family, friends, and many unexpected avenues.

I've attached a letter Sophia tucked into Samantha's blanket a few moments ago. It is beautiful. I've also pasted below a hymn several of you have called to our attention recently. Please pray for Laura and I as we try to muster the strength to deal with a few medical responsibilities and initiate all of the funeral/burial arrangements.


He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Samantha's last 6 days

These are excerpts from my journal from September 12- 18, 2007

Wednesday Today I took in Sophia to the doctor for and I also was able to get Samantha weighed: She is now 7 pounds 10 ounces...she gained exactly two pounds since birth and a half of an inch! She is now four months old.

This evening after church, during the night, I noticed a bit of a rasp and a little rattle in her breathing. It was a much different sound than the cold she caught on the way home from Michigan-- that was more congestion in the head where this was more in the chest. I woke up Jonathan in the middle of the night and told him that I thought she was getting sick and how it was different.

Thursday My kids had a home school co-op that day and I didn't want to go but Jonathan and I finally decided we did not know if this sickness would pass or not and since Samantha stays with me anyway, to try to go on like normal for the sake of the other kids. It was hard for me. I was exhausted from the night before and it was difficult to come to grips with this may being the end. I was weepy that day and since this was only the 3rd time or so we've attended this co-op, it was the first time for several of the mother's to learn about our situation. Once they understood, they were very kind and compassionate and finally one mother told me to just go home and she'll call me if there was a problem with my other two that were in class. I was so grateful for that. I took Joshua and Samantha home and called Sandy, my hospice nurse. She could see the change in her too and the hard part (which we were warned from the beginning) is that a virus and heart failure have the same symptoms. So until we heard it in her lungs, we'll just have to see if she gets over it. I'm just trying to make her comfortable. I'm holding her and taking her outside a lot hoping the fresh air helps her breathing.

Friday I had Samantha in the baby bjorn and tried to continue with school today but it was difficult. She wasn't getting any better and I didn't like the sound of her breathing. That afternoon Papa came to get the kids and Stephanie came over to make supper for us. Steph and Jonathan played piano all night while I held the baby. It was a somber feeling that was overwhelming me. That evening was another restless night. I had her sleeping right beside me since she had the croupy sound and she lost her little voice so she had such a weak cry. She was barely eating- maybe a 1/4 what she normally did (normal was 1-2 ounces). I tried to feed her whenever she cried.

Saturday We didn't do much this day other than try to pick up a bit while holding Samantha all the time. There was one point where I broke down in front of Jonathan and told him I think this was the end. He reminded me that this was o.k. and we were able to let her go. He had me hold her and walk with him around the perimeter of the yard as we (mostly I) talked about our fears and sorrows. I'm so thankful that I have Jonathan to go through this with as he is such a help to me. I was overwhelmed with grief not wanting to let her go yet and Jonathan reminded me God's promises. I was fearful the kind of death that she might experience and Jonathan gently reminded me that just like God was with us in her birth and in her life, He will be with us in her death too.

Sunday This morning Jonathan took the kids to church and Samantha and I sat and listened to Jerry Bridges preach on Trusting God when Life Hurts. I'm crying all the time again and need the Word of God to soothe the wounds. I'm desperate for re-reading the promises of God and hearing His goodness being preached. This is such a hard thing to go through and I need Him to help me function. After listening to the sermon, I wanted to reach out and ask for prayer so I wrote this email to my dear friend, MaryEllen:

Good morning, MaryEllen,

I’m right now holding the sleeping baby and trying to type with one hand seeing if I can send you a few words.

Our little Samantha is struggling. Wednesday evening she began to get sick. She started wheezing and then started to have croup-like symptoms. Since then she’s been getting weaker and weaker. Her cry is now a weak little squeak. Please pray for us as this is so difficult to watch. Time will tell if her end is near, so far her lungs seem clear. Nevertheless, it is every moment that I’m crying out to God for his grace to get through this. I’m trusting and when doubt creeps in, begging for trust in her Creator. I cling to His promises and try to remind myself continually the passages that particularly speak of His Sovereign will, His Trustworthiness and His Goodness. This morning I’ve been listening to Jerry Bridges preach on Trusting God When Life Hurts. One of the things He said was when something ‘bad’ happens to us there are only two explanations- either we are the victims of some horrible unforeseen circumstance or He is fully in control. I praise Him that there is only one answer. He IS in control. He not only allowed us to have Samantha for this time, but He planned her existence before the creation of the world. It is through the death and resurrection of Jesus that overcomes what sin has done to her and will make her well again in His Presence forever. What a God we serve. He alone is my life-line in this very deep valley. I can say all these things yet still battle my own wavering feelings. Please pray that I will not so easily waver and that these truths shall be bound around my neck. Please pray that I continually find rest in His promises even though I’m so tired.

Please inform and ask our fellow brethren at Bible Chapel these prayer requests.

Love to you,
Laura.

Monday Sandy came in the morning and confirmed she wasn't getting any better. No sound in lungs yet. At this rate, she didn't expect her to live till the weekend. She said she'd come back Wednesday. Samantha is still not eating much. Jonathan came home at lunch and stayed with us.

Tuesday I knew it was in the lungs. I called Sandy to come and see and she confirmed that it had moved to her lungs. She gave her morphine for the first time at noon. This was it: we were at the end. Morphine, we were told from the beginning, helps with pain but at the same time speeds death if there is heart problem to begin with.

Up until this point I had thought we would want to have this time to ourselves. Mom had even offered to come down and stay with me even the week before. I really thought we wanted just our own family. But, now that it was here it was so difficult to deal with. God knew this. Steph just showed up at 1:00. She took time off work to help us. By 3 Samantha was struggling to breathe and we called Jonathan's parents to come as quickly as possible to say their goodbye's.

We tried to keep her comfortable. She was struggling with breathing so badly now and just when we would think she had just taken her last breath, she would gasp and breathe again. This was the absolute worst thing to watch.

Jonathan would hold her for a while, then when it would be my turn to hold her he would play hymns on the piano for us. Stephanie read Scripture to us from Samantha's Bible. As a gift to us, our church had given us a Bible with her little name engraved in the front and people put inside the front cover their names with verses they dedicated to her. Stephanie read out loud those passages and they were such a comfort to us.

Pastor Landis heard earlier that day that she was struggling and he decided to drop in and check on us, not realizing that he arrived at her last hour. It was a blessing to have him there with us, praying for us and with us. Matthew, Jonathan's brother also came when he heard. God knew we needed people with us and he brought just the right ones at the right time.

At 6:15 she took her last breath peacefully. Samantha Jane went from her daddy's arms to her Maker's arms. She is finally well again.

Samantha smiled!!

September 3, 2007


Julie was over for the weekend. It was great to see her. She is a dear friend.

On Monday, the day she left, just an hour or so before actually, we were all sitting on the couch talking and this wave of normalcy seemed to wash over Samantha's face. For a moment it actually looked like she was looking at me (she doesn't have the natural eye reflexes so we don't know if she can see). I started to talk to her and smile and then all the sudden she started to smile back! I yelled out loud for Julie, who was sitting right next to me, to look and she saw her do it again, then Jonathan ran over and saw it! It was a precious wide grin!!!
There were tears of joy that day. I never thought I'd see her smile. Thanks to God for that indescribable gift.

She smiled for 3 consecutive days and we were able to get one still shot and one video camera.